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joining the noisemakers

by cat without claws

supported by
Sata Andagi
Sata Andagi thumbnail
Sata Andagi the sound comforts me Favorite track: i dont talk just to make noise.
ck
ck thumbnail
ck just such a beautiful album Favorite track: warm blanket stare.
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1.
all these things i feel are they even real i dont know but ill figure it out with you cuz its easier with two well i dont know if thats true but i know that its better than bein alone and i know youre scared but darlin im terrified cuz were both gonna die but maybe thats alright cuz hey, isnt this nice? and i know youre not thinking straight but neither am i so lets stop thinking.
2.
holding onto something i never had at all half alive and buried, all that i can do is call your name but when you leave me stranded, who can really blame me when i left my legs back in that grave and crawling became my game moving on from what i lived through all those years ago but i cant just ignore what i already know how you hurt me will live with me for long as i go on now that im at the start of something i can enjoy i wont let it be ruined by the remnants of who i was back in that windowless room where i wasted away.
3.
ignore the voice that says you don't deserve this it doesn't know how to love cuz itll leave you down and beat you into dirt but itll leave you when push comes to shove :) i dont really know what im doing/thinking/feeling about you/me/theworld
4.
im sure that you told me but i didnt listen its not that i didnt listen i promise that i listen i promise that i listen its just that i was scared that i wasnt in control all i want is control all i want is control and to do even what i tell myself what i know needs to be done it rings a bell to the tune of defeat a tune of familiar helplessness and to sing along means to be in control all that anyone can be for me is sorry so how can i tell you i need you when i expect to be seen through ignored, dismissed, or ridiculed. and through your eyes you were the first to see me i knew i could feel you see me and you made me feel at home and i just wanted you to surround me so come and wrap me up into your warm blanket stare
5.
the sitter 02:48
i dont know what i love i dont know what i am or why im here i dont know what i want to do today and who knows if ill ever find out ive just been sitting here just been sitting here ive just. been sitting here. ive. ive gotta stop just sitting here i just wish that i did know what i wanted to do what i wanted to do today but even though i dont and i wont and i might never ever ever ever ever really know i just hope i can learn to enjoy whatever it is that i figure out that i need to do or not need or not have to but want really, really want.
6.
and you can take whatever you want from me i wouldnt dare ever try and stop you cuz with a voice like that who could ever stop you from trying. and even after ive lost everything i wouldnt undo it if i could cuz even tho im left with nothin i know that ill be in your mind for good.
7.
when you look back at all that youve done youll see that one thing always led to the next but maybe it was always meant to be that way i cant sleep cuz theres nothin on my chest in this refurbished sexual torture device and im trying so hard to stop thinking about how i am laying love is found in my dreams in the arms of some animal that looks just like me and as he looks in my eyes my thoughts stop racing and my mind feels at ease i wanna say i need help and be heard not mocked or shunned or labeled absurd but experience is a bitch to unlearn
8.

about

with lungs of tar, empty tear ducts, and peeled-off fingernails, i present to you this compilation of sounds put together by me in my 19th year of blinking and feeling.
this thing serves as a marker for when i began living as myself.
i hope i only learn to have more fun making noises.

credits

released September 25, 2023

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about

cat without claws Lake Charles, Louisiana

silly goofy guy from louisiana.

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